Keller: 9 months

Keller-9-mos-II
Keller turned 9 months old this past weekend.  I don’t hold these major photo shoots with him, but I do try to steal a few minutes away with him to capture his changes that month.  And you will see we are ALL about eating leaves these days.
 I love photography.
I think a picture truly can speak a thousand words. 
Son,
I’ve been really sick this past weekend and whenever I’m sick it always makes me get on my knees.  I thanked God for my blessings last night, something I haven’t been able to do in a long time.  I thought about my life and all the things I want to teach you.  All the things I hope to say and do to get the message across to you.  

How do I sum up the most important thing I want to teach you?  
LOVE Jesus, son!  
That is the message I hope to speak to you every single day I am blessed to be your mother.  Love Jesus over sex, over people pleasing, over power and control, over money, over knowledge.  
Love Him with all you heart, mind, and soul.  
The crazy events surrounding your birth and the unspeakable grace of God in moving us here and working out the details, has caused me to always believe God has something special in store for your life.  Don’t waste it, son!  Don’t waste your life pleasing yourself or trying to please others.  Seek God.  Ask for wisdom.  “It is the principle thing.”  Even if you get ridiculed.  Even if fellow christians say that you don’t make sense.  Even if your life doesn’t seem perfect compared to everybody else’s.  Even if you don’t understand yourself why He leads you where He leads you.  Seek Him anyway.  Seek Him first.
I’ve prayed for your future wife from the first month you were born.  One of the best and worst decisions you can make is who you marry.  And I want yours to be the best.  Look for someone who just exudes her love for the Lord.  Did you know you can tell someone is a Christian even without asking?  You should be able to see that in your girl.  She should love and breathe Jesus, son.  
She should respect those in authority.  She should be a servant.  She should smile.   She should wisely consider her decisions before acting upon them.  She should be humble.  She should be attractive to you.  She should just love Jesus.

Your daddy and I love you unconditionally, Keller.  Don’t you ever forget that.  Even if you think you’ve messed up so bad you can’t come back.  Come back.  We’ll be here standing with open arms.

I know you’ll probably go through a time where you think you know everything and that we’re your enemies.  But we’re not.  We don’t need an award or recognition for sacrificing and giving our time to try to raise you to be the man you should be.  But it will hurt when you go through that stage.  So try really really hard not to go through it. :-)
Thank you for being such a snuggler and crawling at my feet all day like a little puppy.  Thank you for having blue eyes so I feel like I had something to do with your genetic makeup.  Thank you for always sticking your index finger in my mouth to suck on…like you’re giving me a pacifier.  Thank you for being a smiley baby.  Thank you for hugging me when I needed a hug.  Thank you for being born after we got to the hospital and not in the car.  Thank you for always trying to get the toilet plugs…because it makes me laugh.  Thank you for saying “mama” first and clear as day, even if I haven’t heard it again since.  Thank you for still letting me nurse you in the mornings, even though you could care less about trading that for a bottle.  And thank you for all the fake crying this year.  Because even though I complain about it.  It really does make me smile to think you must love me A WHOLE LOT to keep up that act for so long.
I love you so much Keller Reagan it hurts. You are one of God’s greatest gifts to me. And I mean that with my whole heart.

Love,

Mom